To Those Who Want To Be
by catastrophicsakura
Summary: No one ever realized that Japan, South Italy, Lithuania, and Canada were friends. But, when you looked closely, you could see how it could work. Romano kept things alive, Lithuania kept things calm, Japan kept things rational, and Canada made it fun. Together, the Fourseen make the world a more interesting place.
1. The Beginning

"Cambodia?"

"Here."

"Cameroon?"

"I made it today!"

"Ca- wait, who's this?" Germany squinted his bright blue eyes, hoping to remember the nation. "Canada? Yes, Canada!"

"H-here..."

"Canada? Is he or she not here?"

"I-i'm here."

"I suppose he didn't make it today! Absent, again."

"I'm h-here!" Canada groaned and let his face fall onto the wooden table. As usual, they either did not hear him or forgot him. How many times had he been marked absent? Thirty? Fifty? Maybe 100?

Japan shook his head sadly. "No worries, Matthew-kun. One day they will hear you." Japan was one of Canada's closest friends. The oriental nation was polite and quiet, which helped the two get along very well. Thankfully, they usually managed to sit next to each other, or at least across from one other.

Canada sighed and sat up. A red mark was now showcasing itself against his snow-like skin. The Arctic nation rubbed it, and shuddered when it began to burn. "It's a lost cause by now, I may as well wear a bright pink shirt that says, 'NOTICE ME SENPAI'."

"Those f*ckers should just get a hearing aid!" Romano growled as he poked his head out from underneath the table. Another one of the Canadian's friends, South Italy was a loud, dirty-mouthed nation who knew how to make someone feel like gum at the bottom of a shoe. He got along terribly with most nations, having been spoiled by a certain Spaniard for way too long. But when he met New France, or Canada, his usual demeanor softened, but only around the group. Romano was not supposed to attend the meetings, so he chose to hide under the table.

Japan quietly chuckled, along with Canada. Only the hot-headed Italian would have the courage to say that, especially around the other nations. Romano rolled his eyes and muttered curses under his breath.

"M-maybe we should quiet d-down...Mr. Russia keeps staring at us..." Lithuania whispered. Lithuania, one of the Baltic states and the last member of their unusual quartet! The timid, and surprisingly strong, nation was as weak as a fly around other nations, but when he was close to his friends, he practically emitted confidence. Today, he was nestled in-between Japan and China, which was slightly safe for him. If it was not for the fact that Russia kept glaring at the trio, of course.

Japan faced his friend and reassuringly stated,"Do not worry, Toris-kun. Russia-san will not hurt you when you have us around."

" _Si_ , that vodka b*stard will never touch you while I'm around! He would shake in his cheaply made boots!"

"Nice one, Roma."

" _Grazie_...and don't f*cking call me that."

"Shh, g-guys, they're l-looking a-at us..."

"Matthew-kun, hurry and put your glasses back on!"

* * *

 _And here's the prologue to the new story! Featuring Japan, South Italy, Canada, and Lithuania! This is going to be a series of different scenarios and problems that the quartet have to deal with. But, I want your opinions!_

 _First, tell me what you thought of the story and any problems you saw._

 _And second, help me figure out a name for these four! I was going to call them something along the lines of 'The Awkward Quartet' or 'Anti-social Quartet'. But, they do not feel creative enough! Throw some ideas at me!_

 _And finally, give me ideas! I'll use the prompt and give you credit for the idea at the beginning of each chapter!_


	2. Tomatoes, Manga, and Cars

" _Fratello_! _Fratello_ , where are you? I need your help with my pasta! I ran out of tomatoes again... _fratello_! _Fratello_!" Veneziano called dramatically. He searched under the couch, in the basement, even the toilet! But Romano was nowhere to be found.

* * *

Romano leaped into the car and slammed the door shut. While buckling himself in, he snapped out,"Step on it!", and the car zoomed off.

Canada heaved out a sigh. "That went better than expected." He was the driver, and let's just say he was not very confident in his International driver's license.

"I made it out alive! Do you know how annoying that f*cker is after lunch? It's calling a herd of potato b*stards to come and do my _fratello_! It's terrifying!"

Lithuania smiled softly, before patting the steaming Italian's back encouragingly. "At least your crops are safe, right? Were you able to load them all in?"

Everyone held in a breath as Romano froze in his angry mutters.

"F*ck this sh*t. Turn the car around! I left my babies!" He screamed. Lithuania was able to cover his ears in time, but poor Canada had to keep both hands on the steering wheel. Quickly turning around and making it back to Italy's house, they noticed that something felt different.

Lithuania looked behind his seat and in the passenger's seat, before groaning. Worried, Canada spared a careful glance at the Lithuanian.

"What's the matter?"

"We forgot Kiku this time."

A series of foreign curses filled the car as the trio drove faster down the road. Romano banged his head against the window, constantly complaining about how he should be the one driving. Lithuania scolded Romano on his driving skills, stating that they certainly did not want to relive Japan's experiences.

When they arrived at the villa, Japan was being held captive against a conveniently placed tree. They all stumbled out of the car before running up to the tied-up nation.

" _Kon'nichiwa. Jūbun'na anata wa jikan ga kakarimashita_!"

Apologizing profusely, Canada brought out his pocket knife and began to slice off the taught ropes. Lithuania and Romano kept a sharp eye out for Veneziano, while placing all of the tomato plants into the trunk of the SUV.

"Ve! Where are you all going? Don't you all want to stay for pasta?"

The quartet all let out multiple screams, one very audible, one very toned down, and the other two barely heard. Canada worked faster with the ropes, while Japan wriggled his way out of them. With strength usually hidden, Canada flipped both Lithuania and Japan onto his shoulders before throwing them into the car. Romano snickered under his breath for a moment, then remembered that his slightly psychopathic brother was holding a kettle and ladle.

" _Fratello_..."

Romano screamed again, and sprinted into the car. Sadly, three of his cherry tomato plants were forgotten, which made him cry.

"Oh the agony!" He wailed. Lithuania tried to comfort his friend again, but it was to no avail. Japan, who was over the shock of being kidnapped, was calmly reading a manga.

" _Hai, shieru wa, aroisu no subarashiku, yoi hirateuchi_..." He mumbled. A small trail of red began to steadily work it's way down his cheek. Sighing, Canada held out a tissue box.

"Ah, thank you, Matthew-kun." Silence filled the van for a moment, before Lithuania asked a question that surprised everyone.

"W-who's driving?" Canada was sitting in the back seat with Lithuania and Romano, and was unable to reach the steering wheel. A lighthearted giggle set everyone on the edge of their seats. In unison, they all turned to face the driver's seat.

"Ve, _ciao_!"

Everyone jumped out of the windows, which led to another session of crying, courtesy of Romano. " _Le mie piante pomodoro! PERCHE'LA MIA VITA CAZZO , SOLO PERCHE'_!?"

* * *

 _Thank you for the reviews! I honestly did not expect the ideas to come so quickly! I will certainly use them, and I really liked the name for the quartet, Fourseen. Very fancy. :3_


	3. Americans, Pancakes, and Pot

Canada groaned quietly. He tried his best to keep his violet eyes from closing, because he knew that if he did, he would have to pay in pancakes. Free, pancakes. Who would want to give away free food? Not Canada!

America laughed loudly and patted his brother's back. "So, bro, I was thinking that we could totally go to that new waterpark together! Wouldn't that be epic! I also got you a new swimsuit, but it's pink. Sorry! And it's a one-piece, so sorry 'bout that too! Wow dude, today just isn't your day, isn't it? Haha! Yo, we should totally go out for some burgers, am I right?"

"You could say that again...sorry America, but I have to do something today." Canada apologetically smiled, before standing up from his plush couch. "You could always come another time, though."

Tilting his head in curiosity, America whined. "But Mattie, I wanna hang out! Anyway, what could you be doing today that's so important? It's not anyone hangs out with you!"

Canada had to make up an excuse while trying to not be offended. It's not like he could tell America about his only friends that actually noticed him. He would steal the show in one way or another, since they all were pretty close to the superpower at one point. But no! Today, Canada will show America that he is way more powerful than he looks, by...by...doing something that doesn't involve fighting!

"Al, how about you go and buy some hamburger meat? I'll make us both hamburgers, then we can watch Pocahontas again. How does that sound?"

With a cheerful and childish, "Yay!", America literally skipped out of the door, and into his sports car.

Canada peeked through the window and watched his little brother drive around the corner. With a series of taps, the northern nation used a code to call out his friends. From the shadows, the members of their secret group sneaked out.

Japan went all out this time. He was decked out in an old ninja costume, complete with a mask and nunchucks. Instead of 'creeping out' like the other two, he had just simply crawled out of the air vent. No one really cared, since Japan could be as eccentric as America at times.

Romano had put on a pinstripe suit and a fedora. A gun was carefully strapped onto his leather belt. A smirk was also placed on his face, since he knew that a certain nation was currently checking him out.

Lithuania was wearing one of his military's uniforms. A simple green camouflage jacket with cargo pants, a bullet-proof vest, and a helmet that looked surprisingly good on him. A gun was also strapped on to his back.

"Thank God! That burger-eating maniac is finally gone!" Romano said as he plopped down onto the same chair Canada was once resting on.

Rolling his eyes, the northern nation sighed. "Alfred isn't that bad. He just very hyperactive..and dopey. Very dopey."

Japan chuckled softly and sat carefully on the carpeted floor. Lithuania leaned against the wall tiredly. "It seems like Mr. America still does not understand no means no."

"He never has. I'm actually waiting for the day he figures out that the world doesn't revolve around him." Canada muttered. He turned and walked over to the kitchen. "So, want to continue what we started before Alfred remembered me?" Romano sprinted over to dining room, being closely followed by the other two.

Later in the evening, America drove his car through Canada's yard in haste, and launched himself out of the car. A plastic bag full of meat was being carried by the energetic blonde. Cheerfully, America knocked on the door. And by knock, we mean punch a hole through the door. The American shrugged and skipped into the kitchen.

"Mattie! I brought the stuff- WHAT THE F*CK." America halted in his happy monologue.

Canada was currently wiping off syrup from Japan's blushing face, Romano was feasting on a stack on ten freshly-made pancakes, and Lithuania was sneaking some of the food from Japan's plate. All of them had frozen in their positions, seeing that a certain someone had gotten home too fast for their liking. Not to mention that they still had their gear from before still on.

"What...dudes! Hey! Haven't seen ya'll in a while!" America sat down in one of the old oak chairs. A creaked dangerously, barely able to hold up the superpowers weight. "Matt, can I have some pancakes too, please?!"

The others were surprised that America didn't say anything about their clothing, but they were thankful. America's obliviousness had saved their lives again.

Romano spoke through a mouth of fluffiness, "There is no f*cking way in h*ll that we're going to give you any of this delicious food. This stuff is the sh*t, and there's no way I'm giving it up!" He pulled his plate closer to himself, trying to protect Canada's signature food.

Japan thanked Canada graciously, before delicately taking a bite. "America-san, maybe you should go home and make those instant pancakes. You like those better, yes?"

America sniffed sadly as his baby blue eyes began to fill with tears. "B-but...I want pancakes..."

"Look, Mr. America, the best way to handle this situation is to just walk away. We aren't giving up these babies. Romano's already lost three." Lithuania quipped, which surprised most of the nations in the room.

Romano mumbled quietly though another mouthful of pancakes. He didn't want to remember the tomato incident. _'Cassidy, Phil, Joe...'_ He thought.

Canada facepalmed. "Al, I'm out of pancake mix, it's ten o'clock at night, and we're tired. You should go home. Anyway, there's a meeting tomorrow. I'll bring some then."

Brightening up instantly, America cheered and hugged Canada from across the table. "Thanks bro! See you then!" With a loud call of a goodbye, the dopey blonde jumped out the back screen door. Canada audibly groaned at the loss off another set of doors.

"And there's goes another door...my insurance rate is going to go up again."

"At least you got to keep the pancakes, Matthew-kun."

" _Matteo_ , is there any chance that I could borrow a recipe for this? I want to try adding tomato sauce to it."

"That s-sounds really disgusting."

"And that's coming from the guy who uses potatoes in most of his foods!"

"But t-they're easy to afford! And t-they taste g-good, too."

" _Watashi wa kore de owaridesu. Darekaga kono kichigai shanai kara watashi o hozon shite kudasai_."

"Eh..Kiku, you know I can speak Japanese, right?"

" _Watashi wa... Mōshiwakearimasen ga shitte imashita_."

" _Ar tu supranti mane_?"

"Not really, Toris."

" _Velnias_."

"Wait...is that sirens I hear? This is not good."

"How late is it?! I knew tomato b*stard would f*cking call the police again! Stupid bedtimes!"

"Matthew-kun, Toris-kun, Lovino-kun..."

"W-what's wrong?"

"We are still in our traditional battle uniforms."

"F*CK!"

"So, will I get out easy since I'm just in my sweatshirt?"

"Y-you smell like pot..."

" _Merde_."

"If we hide in the basement, we should be alright."

"We can't go into the basement..."

"And why the f*ck not?!"

"..."

"Why me, of all people, why me!?"

"Matthew-kun, what did I say about using illegal things?"

"Hey, we're in Canada, so it's not that bad."

 **"COME OUTSIDE AND HOLD YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR, WE GOT THE PLACE SURROUNDED!"**

"I b-blame all of this o-on you, Lovino."

" _Grazie,_ Toris, I'll be sure to make sure that you get the prison cell with creepy pedo."

* * *

 _And there's the end of another drabble. In case you couldn't tell was talking and who wasn't, Japan was speaking without contractions or speaking Japanese, Lithuania was either speaking Lithuanian or stuttering, Romano was either cussing or yelling, and Canada was everything else. The bold was the police._

 _Thank you for the reviews! I mixed two ideas for this one, so thank Bittersweet Crazy and PrincessPheofBooks. Sorry of it wasn't what you were hoping for exactly, since my writing tends to have a mind of it's own._


	4. Snowball Fights, Tea Sets, and Russians

"M-mister Russia, I didn't k-know you would b-be back so s-soon..."

Lithuania shuddered as his fellow nation stepped through the double doors. With an unusual amount of care, Russia closed the doors and locked them. He shook the heavy amounts of snow and ice off of his work boots, before sliding them off and leaving them haphazardly laying down on the floor.

Groaning, Russia trudged over to the couch Lithuania was residing on and sat down. Thanking Lithuania for the cup of warm tea, he sipped it and sighed.

"Lithuania." Russia grumbled. He sniffed the air carefully. The scents of basil, maple, and fish were wafting around the front of the house. It seemed to be focusing around the living room. A chilling grin was settled onto the Russian's face as he turned to his companion. "What did I say about visitors?"

"T-that it's w-wrong?"

" _Da_. Why do I smell that odor? It smells terrible."

Lithuania squeaked when Russia suddenly stood up, knocking down a teacup. Thankfully, he caught it with reflexes that he used quite often. The Lithuanian was happy to see that Russia had failed to notice that little bit, for he was searching the living room and the coat closet- **the coat closet**?!

Quickly, Lithuania clapped his hands together. "Mister Russia, I do believe that Belarus was visiting today. She wanted to talk to you about where to hold the wedding for herself and you. I was actually getting ready to tidy things up, so perhaps you would like to go freshen up?" By the time Lithuania had finished his impromptu speech, Russia had already sprinted up the stairs and into his room.

"Wow, I'm impressed! You finally didn't stutter around the vodka b*stard!" Romano slowly clapped as he stepped out of the closet. Following behind him was a blushing Japan, who looked as if he was going to faint, and Canada, who had calmly stepped out. He helped Japan out of the closet carefully, to which Japan muttered a quick thanks and stumbled into the nearby bathroom.

Canada shook his head sadly, his light blonde hair swishing back and forth. "Poor Kiku, I bet that was a bit much for the old guy." He said. Brushing some of his hair out of his face, Canada giggled. "But did you see Ivan's face? That was priceless!"

"The old coot certainly had it in for him! About time that f*cker got a taste of his own sh*tty medicine." Romano sat next to Lithuania and slipped his arm around the tense man's shoulders. "I'm really impressed, kid. Didn't know you had it in you!"

"You all are acting like this is some big accomplishment. It wasn't much...really. I just pulled out a white lie, nothing more, and nothing less. But..his face was funny." Lithuania smirked.

Japan came out the bathroom, no longer looking like a strawberry. Still slightly dizzy, the oriental man walked towards the couch and sat down at a distance from everyone else. "I-it was quite impressive. I am very happy for you, Toris-kun."

" _Kolkolkolkol...did someone play a trick on me?_ "

"F*ck me, f*ck you, f*ck everyone in this household!" Romano screeched as he jumped behind Canada, who was going into invisi-mode. Japan had successfully gotten into the closet again, but this time, he was alone. Nobody would be able to touch him...nobody...

Anyway, Russia was standing at the end of a grandstaircase. In-between his fingers were two very long iron pipes that were covered with suspicious-looking stains.

"Eh, those stains look like the ones on my hockey stick!"

"Canada!" Everyone whisper-yelled. Certainly this was not the time for Canada to speak at a normal level, especially when a seven-foot tall Russian was glaring at them.

Russia chuckled evilly. "Ah, _privet_ , Matvey. When did you get here?"

Canada smiled and waved cheerfully. "Hi Ivan! I've been here- oof..I just arrived..." He mentally groaned at the warning butt pinch he had gotten from Romano.

"That is good...Lithuania, would you be a dear and take out my snowball machine?"

Lithuania spit out some of the herbal tea he was drinking. In disbelief, the nation stood up and went into the closet. Japan was shaking as he slowly came out of the closet.

Haha, he came out of the closet.

Soon, every country in the world had come to see this historic fight. America chortled giddily as he spoke into the microphone.

"Welcome, dudes and dudettes, to the first annual 'Let's Kick Commie Butt' tournament!" All of the countries cheered, except for a certain Russian and a set of Baltics.

"On the right side of the arena, we have the one and only, Commie-B*stard! Ow, ow, okay, Iggy! Darn, stick-in-the-butt." America cleared out his throat, then called out with a bored voice. "And by Commie-B*stard, I mean Russia." With a lazy swoop of his arm, a spotlight rained down onto the large nation, who merely chuckled at his rival's antics.

"And on the left side of the arena, or the freedom side, as I would like to call it, we have Canadia, Japan, Lithuania, and..and..Romano!"

"YOU MOTHERFU-"

"Calm down, Roma. You can kill him later."

Romano pouted and crossed his arms. But, it was pretty tough to cross your arms when you're wearing a fluffy parka and goggles. Japan and Lithuania also seemed to have problems moving in the heavy coats, but Canada was treating it like it was a second nature to him.

"Alright, let the snowball fight commence! And yes, I know that word! Go!"

Almost instantly, the Fourseen jumped into action.

Japan used his amazing speed to build a series of snow forts that were covered with a thick layer of ice.

Romano was quickly making snowballs (and secretly stuffed some chunks of ice into a few).

Lithuania had hidden behind one of the shields and was having a panic attack.

Canada was making and throwing snowballs at fifty miles per hour, which was so fast, that his arms became a blur.

Russia was doing the same thing, except his snowballs were huge. And by huge, we mean colossal. Not to mention the rickety, old machine that was slowly churning out pitiful snowballs. Everyone halted in their screaming or fighting to watch the machine.

Moldova giggled childishly,"It looks like it's going to po-"

"RUSSIA, I SWEAR, IF YOU WEREN'T A GIANT MURDERER, I WOULD MURDER YOU!"

"B-but Romania.."

"SHUT UP BULGARIA!"

Then the fight continued as if nothing inappropriate had happened. Except for France, who attempted to start a kiss cam. Poor Lithuania, how France got into the arena successfully is still a mystery.

Well, how did it all end? It ended with Lithuania and Japan vowing to never step foot into snow again, Romano punching America in the face, and everyone banning Canada and Russia from having snowball fights.

R.I.P, Lithuania's tea set, you will be missed.

* * *

 _Even I don't know what happened in this one, and I write crack so often...the idea for this chapter goes to-_

 _Poo. Uh...I lost that PM. Darn you internet! If it was you, PM me and I'll give you credit, just..ah, someone punch me. Thanks for reading._


	5. Canadian Winters and Stubborn Italians

Romano had just made the worst decision of his life.

Anxious to see Canada after three months apart, he, Lithuania, and Japan had decided to visit the northern nation. He had not visited the nation itself since...well, forever!

The last time Romano went, Spain had dragged him across the Atlantic. It was around the month of July, so it was warm outside. He remembered being forced to talk to France and his new colony, New France, during the visit. By the time they had left, it was late August, so Romano never felt the full extent of the Canadian seasons.

 _'Even back then, the wine b*stard was full of himself.'_

Filled with well-hidden excitement, Romano had packed everything he needed. From shoes to hats to underwear, he was ready for any disaster. But, he had forgotten one very important thing.

A coat.

Now, Romano rarely ever forgot anything. This came to be quite a shock for both Japan and Lithuania, especially when they arrived in Canada.

"I wonder if the maple b*stard will pick us up, cause there is no way that I'm driving." Romano groaned as they walked out the terminal. Noticing a female attendant, Romano winked at the woman. The attendant blushed and fiddled with her name tag shyly.

"I agree with that statement." Japan smiled faintly.

"Matthew t-texted me, he w-will be here in t-twenty minutes." Lithuania slipped his outdated phone back into his satchel, before blushing when a group of men laughed at him. It was satchel, not a purse!

Romano gaped in surprise. "Why so f*cking long?"

Japan calmly gestured towards the large glass windows, before going back to his magically appearing manga. " _Ā, Tamaki o kanojo ni kisu. Kanojo ni anata no hontō no kimochi o hyōji shimasu..._ " He mumbled. By now, the other nations present had gotten used to their friend's behavior.

Romano pivoted and stared out the window in shock. "Snow. Out of all of the elements, Canada had to be made outta snow. No wonder he's so freaking cold!" The Italian changed his swears by the end of his sentence, thanks to a sharp business woman and her child walking by. The woman gave him the stink eye, seeming to magnify his every fault.

 _'Well, cazzo. No wonder we're stereotypes, if Matteo was like that...'_

"Lovi, w-what will you do n-now?" Lithuania asked, gently placing a hand on Romano's shoulder.

Waking out of his fight-or-flight thoughts, Romano picked up his companion's hand and lifted it off his shoulder. He tsked in disappointment. "Toris, just so you fu-freaking know, I forgot my shi-shizzy new coat. Now I either have to find another one, or deal with the Canadian cold." He grumbled distastefully.

Over a hour later, the three nations were very close to falling asleep. Romano was munching drowsily on a tomato, Japan had a manga covering his face, and Lithuania was humming a song.

"Excuse me, sorry! So sorry miss!" A shy, yet apologetic, voice cut through the airport. Turning around the corner was a frenzied Canada, who was already spouting out apologies to his friends. "I am so, so sorry! I didn't mean to be late, but there was some weird weather, and the truck could barely get past the drifts, and there were some moose-" The frantic Canadian was cut off by a sympathetic Lithuania.

"It's fine, Matthew! We understand." The brown-haired man smiled. "Should we go ahead and go? I'm looking forward to seeing your home."

Grinning, Canada helped wake Japan, who had fallen asleep, and guided the others to his car. But when they made it outside...

"F*CK, SH*T, _ACCDENTI_! WHY IS IT SO F*CKING COLD!?" Romano screamed as he hurried to cover himself. The Italian had not expected it to be as cold as it was, nor had he thought of grabbing an extra shirt out of his suitcase. But, now that he recalled, he should have at least have packed some fluffy socks.

 _'Why me...'_

Canada, who was carrying almost everyone's bags, handed Romano's suitcase to him. "Here, Lovi, get your coat out. I can drive up in the truck and pick you all up here. I doubt that you want to walk through the storm, eh?" He offered, before dragging the bags and suitcases outside.

Romano set down his suitcase and tore through it, trying to find a jacket. Lithuania was catching the clothes that were flying out from behind the enraged nation.

Japan, of course, just stood silently with his carry-on, and watched the chaos unfold.

" _Non ho un cappotto , cazzo_! Why do I always forget something!?" Romano cried out. He pulled out his sleek, new cellphone and dialed a number.

" _Ciao_?" A bored Italian accent answered.

"Valentino, can you send a coat over, by any chance?"

" _Wow, you aren't even cussing! This is a miracle! Omen, God! Omen!_ " The voice cheered in mock happiness.

"Just send a f*cking coat over."

" _And there it is...why didn't you call Vene or Romeo?_ "

"Veneziano would blab about the potato b*stard, and Romeo would forget about it, just to flirt with a girl. Could you just do it?"

" _What's the magic word~?_ "

" **Valentino...** "

" _Whew, alright, alright, I'll have it over by morning! But...what will I get out of it? I've been wanting to buy a new pair of loafers!_ "

"Ciao."

" _Lovino! Wait, no, I really would like a new pair of-_ " Romano hung up on his brother. Grumbling under his breath, he took his clothes from a shocked Lithuanian's arms and stuffed them into his suitcase.

"W-who was that?" Lithuania asked in curiosity.

Romano rolled his eyes as he hefted his suitcase onto his back. "San Marino. Can we go please? I don't want to be stuck in here for much longer!"

Thankfully, Canada had driven up in his old, beat-up truck, and unlocked the doors. Everyone loaded into the car, shivering from the cold. Japan was still pretty warm, since he was bundled in his marshmallow-like coat. Lithuania had on many layers of shirts and jackets, since he did not own a coat.

The drive was uneventful, except for almost running into a moose, Japan losing his pocky, and Romano accidentally opening the windows. Lithuania had fixed all of those problems by simply giving everyone cookies.

When they arrived at Canada's one-story home, Romano jumped out of the car and crashed through the window. Canada audibly sighed in despair, before unlocking his home's front door and helping everyone and their things inside. When they walked in, the Italian was curled up by the fireplace, getting ready to take off his soaked shirt. Everyone instantly covered their virgin eyes and screamed out, "Keep it on! Keep it on!"

Finally, after three days of having to stay inside thanks to having no coat and not wanting to borrow anyone else's clothing (Though he did borrow Canada's sweatshirt, but don't tell anyone. It was too comfy to resist!), a box came in the mail. Cheerfully, Canada walked into the living room, where everyone was chilling near the fireplace.

"Lovino, there's a box for you! It's from-" Canada began.

"GIMME!" Romano reached out for the box and tore it open. It was full of Styrofoam peanuts and bubble-wrap. Japan and Lithuania played with the bubble-wrap, while Canada picked up the peanuts off the floor.

"That motherf*cker..." Romano growled, about to burst in anger. Everyone looked over his shoulder, before their eyes grew to the size of dinner plates.

Inside was a dishcloth and a tiny note.

 _'Keep warm! :) With love, Valentino.'_

"I'm gonna kill that douche."

* * *

 _I had way too much fun with this one. Thanks to Pocketter for the idea! Sorry if it wasn't what you were thinking...and an OC cameo. And, do you know what I have been forgetting to do? A disclaimer! Yes, please yell at me. Also, quick note, there is a poll on my profile to see what pairing you want a one-shot on next...but only if you want to do it..._

 _SELF-ADVERTISING!_

 _I DO NOT OWN HETALIA, ONLY ANY OCs THAT I MENTION OR USE. ((And the plot itself, of course.))_


	6. Rules, the Elderly, and Fudge

_The Nations of:_ _South Italy, Republic of Lithuania, Japan, and Canada, are hereby no longer allowed to do these actions at World Summits. If they do so, they will be held in the United States of America's home until further notice._

* * *

 ** _1._** _South Italy shall not throw tomatoes at West Germany._

 ** _2._** _Canada is not allowed to walk into a meeting in only his undergarments._

* * *

"That was fun. Ukraine kept staring at me, do you think she was interested?"

"Was she blushing?"

"I don't think so..."

"Then don't push your luck, kid."

* * *

 ** _3._** _Japan will not talk to the nations, then later use their voices for videogames._

* * *

No one noticed the recorder Japan subtly paused and sneaked into his bag.

* * *

 ** _4._** _Lithuania will not bake one of his national cuisines, then 'accidentally' throw it at Russia._

 ** _5._** _Even though he may deserve it, South Italy is not permitted to punch East Germany._

* * *

"Why not!? The beer b*stard deserves it!"

"I-it's the only w-way I can fight b-back..."

* * *

 ** _6._** _Canada is not allowed to bring a moose, beaver, goose, chicken, swan, goat, cow, pig, or a full-grown polar bear to any of the meetings. Yet, he may bring his smaller one, Kumacheerio._

 ** _7._** _Japan is not allowed to fill the representatives car's full of paper cranes._

 ** _8._** _He is also not allowed to fill them up with body pillows of his favorite pairings-_

* * *

" _N-nani_?! These rules are terrible!" Japan cried as he held his sheet against his chest. Canada pat his back reassuringly, yet, he was distracted. They said that he couldn't bring Moose A. Moose and Smokey to the meetings! How unfair! Romano, of course, had already ripped his paper to shreds and was borrowing Lithuania's.

"Toris, you barely do anything bad. What's up with that?" Canada studied the paper in surprise.

Lithuania shrugged. "Talent?"

"Very funny- there's more f*cking rules!?" Romano pulled more sheets out of his manila folder, and in unison, Canada and Japan both screamed. Lithuania just took a sip of his black coffee.

* * *

 ** _9._** _Lithuania is not allowed to steal Poland's clothing and model it at a meeting._

* * *

"But I l-look good in a s-skirt!" Lithuania yelped as he spit out his coffee.

"What the f*ck Toris?"

* * *

 ** _10._** _He is also not allowed to burn said clothing after modeling._

* * *

Everyone stared at Lithuania, who chuckled sheepishly. "U-uh...I was drunk?"

* * *

 ** _11._** _Japan is not allowed to randomly sing 'Bad Apple' during the meeting._

 ** _12._** _Especially if he is intoxicated._

 ** _13._** _And naked. Or in a tight black ninja suit._

 ** _14._** _South Italy may not force everyone to learn how to play guitar, even though the American representitive learned something useful._

* * *

"D*mnit! I thought I did something good for once!"

No one replied to the Italian, since they were still in shock. Japan was blushing furiously, not recalling the times he had too much sake.

* * *

 ** _15._** _Canada may not sing, 'Canadian, Please', during a meeting._

 ** _16._** _Especially if he is wearing a RCMP uniform. But if he has a gun, is speaking too loudly, is very hairy, and calls global warming 'gay', then call the SWAT team._

 ** _17._** _If Lithuania begins to talk about eagles, geese, or squirrels, call the police._

* * *

"I-it's a long story..." Lithuania trembled under everyone's surprised gaze.

* * *

 ** _18._** _South Italy is not allowed to invite his other color to the meeting._

 ** _19._** _Neither is Japan or Lithuania._

 ** _20._** _Especially not Canada's other color, even if he does give you free maple cookies. They may be poisoned._

* * *

"Not my fault. James tends to do that to Oliver, usually. I wonder why he never..."

Everyone shuffled away from the Canadian, since a dark shadow began to form behind the nation.

* * *

 ** _21._** _Japan may be an influential country, but he is not allowed to teach America about tenti-_

* * *

Japan took a large glob of White-out, and gently ran it over that whole line.

"Ignore that, please."

* * *

 ** _22._** _Lithuania may be timid and shy, but do not anger him. He has a black belt._

 ** _23._** _Even if he is wearing a butterfly or pony costume, you may not anger him._

 ** _24._** _THE HERO WAS HERE!_

* * *

Canada and Japan slowly facepalmed as Lithuania sighed in disappointment. Romano picked up the sheet, crumpled it into a ball, and threw it outside. The little old lady next door was hit in the head with it, so she began to hobble towards her neighbor's home.

* * *

 ** _25._** _If South Italy walks into a meeting wearing booty shorts and a fedora, throw Spain out the window._

* * *

"I love that one!" Romano grinned happily as the others mentally prayed for Spain's safety.

* * *

 ** _26._** _It is usually because Spain owes him money, and wants to start a fight._

* * *

"Who in the f*ck wrote this?!"

"Shh!"

* * *

 ** _27._** _The next few rules are quite important, and must be followed. Yes, that means you, South Italy._

* * *

"This thing is starting to freak me the f*ck out!" Romano declared. Awkwardly, Canada cleared his throat and continued to read.

* * *

 ** _28._** _DO NOT FORGET TO CHECK FOR ANY EXPLOSIVE DEVICES. IF THERE ARE ANY, AND THEY ARE FULL OF SAKE, MAPLE SYRUP, ITALIAN WINE, OR KVASS, CALL THE POLICE!_

 ** _29._** _DO NOT INVITE CANADA TO AMERICA'S BIRTHDAY PARTIES, ESPECIALLY IF THEY ARE HELD ON JULY FIRST._

 ** _30._** _And the final rule: Do not, and we repeat, DO NOT, lock the four together in one room. It is a habit a lot of nations have, and we do not want to start an apocalypse._

 ** _Sincerely, United Nations._**

 ** _P.S. Don't forget to brush your teeth! :)_**

* * *

The quartet sat in silence as they finished the notice. With determination, each nation stood up, carried the papers out side, and dumped them into the trash cans that were sitting on the lawn.

Lithuania turned towards his friends and coughed awkwardly. "W-we agree to never s-speak of this a-again?"

" _Ou_ _i._ "

" _Hai._ "

" _Si_ \- Hey! Ow! What are you- Ouch! That f*cking hurt!" Romano yelled as the little old lady smacked him on the head with her metal cane.

"Someone was a bad boy today. Now what do you have to say for yourself young man?"

"F*ck you!"

"Don't say that to the elderly!" The old lady croaked as she hit him in-between the legs with her deadly cane. Romano wheezed out another curse as he fell to the ground. Canada and Lithuania winced and protectively covered their crotches. That's going to leave a mark.

The lady hobbled away, but not before giving Japan, Canada, and Lithuania each a piece of homemade fudge.

"Why didn't I get any!? What a ripoff..." Romano grumbled as he sat up. Japan smirked and leaned down closer to the Italian's angry face.

"Someone was a bad boy, yes?"

Lithuania and Canada were laughing quietly, saying things such as: "A burn! Want some ice for that?" "What a bad boy! Looks like there's no dessert tonight!" "Oooh~ does the little boy need a band-aid?"

Romano pouted and followed the others into his home. One day, there will be revenge. Wait...what was in that fudge?

No wonder the lady had crazy hair.

* * *

 _Japanese:_

 _Nani: What_

 _Hai: Yes_

 _French:_

 _Oui: Yes_

 _I hope you all enjoyed whatever this was. I don't understand it myself...and a ton foreshadowing to future chapters, too. Kvass is a kind of Lithuanian drink. Uh, the little old lady was the Netherlands in disguise. And Romano's revenge will be in the next drabble. Adíos!_


	7. Trees, Squirrels, and Diapers

The sun was shining, the birds were chirping, and an Italian was cursing.

"Veneziano! There no f*cking way that I'm going to go outside! It's below zero!"

"But _fratello_ , it's sixty degrees outside, perfect time to go make a picnic, play outside, maybe talk to a couple of _ragazzas_..." Italy dreamily stated as he dragged his brother outside. Combined with the chilly spring air and a sour attitude, Romano was at his breaking point.

"Listen to me, you airhead! I have something to do today, and I don't have time to deal with your-" Romano was cut off by the second most adorable puppy-dog eyes ever created. Italy stared at his brother sadly, his amber eyes beginning to tear up. Sniffling, Italy hugged Romano's arm closer to him.

"Please?" Italy whimpered. Sighing and rolling his eyes, Romano nodded, and regretfully followed the now cheerful Italian.

Happily skipping down the path, Italy dragged Romano towards a field. In the middle of the grassy field was an extremely tall tree. Its gnarled branches and rooted sprawled through the air and ground, stretching through the entire field. Italy ran ahead of his brother and twirled around the field.

"Ve~! Isn't it _bella_ outside?" Italy fell back onto the grass playfully, before calling Romano over. "Come sit down Romano!" And with absolute annoyance (and content), Romano laid next to his brother.

They both stared at the bright blue sky. Italy would point to a cloud, to which Romano would say it would like a tomato. When Romano would point at a cloud, Italy would say it was pasta. They talked back and forth about the poofy clouds until noon.

"Well, as much as I would like to get more ticks and fleas on myself, I think we should go. Come on, Veneziano." Romano spoke as he stood up. He held a hand out, to which Italy gratefully took.

You all know how Italy can be at times, right? Airheaded, adorable, overall cute as f*ck? Well, Romano wasn't thinking of any of those right now.

" _FRATELLO_! SAVE ME! SAVE ME!" Italy called from the top of the tree, flailing his arms everywhere. Romano continued to curse as climbed up the tree. Note to self, never let Veneziano climb a tree when there's no Germans around.

"Calm down you mother- ugh - f*cker! I'm coming up now!" Romano growled angrily. When he made it to the top, Italy almost instantly latched onto his brother. Romano rolled his eyes, then began to carefully climb down...until a branch broke.

The branch that was the closest to the ground.

The branch that Romano was going to use.

The branch that was now on the ground.

Romano silently raged in his mind for a moment, before Italy snapped him out of it. "Ooh, Roma, look! A squirrel! Isn't it cute? May I pet it? Please, please, please-"

" _Si_! Go ahead and pet the f*cking squirrel! Jeez..." As Italy pet the domesticated squirrel, Romano hatched up a plan to get out of the giant tree. He called up every one of his friends to help in this rescue mission.

* * *

Japan sat down and sighed quietly and gratefully. After a long day of paperwork and helping the people in his country, he could finally rest. Japan poured himself a cup of barley tea, and just when he was about to take the first sip of the warm liquid, his phone began to ring. Japan set the cup down, and with a little annoyance, answered the phone.

" _Moshi moshi_?"

" _Ciao_ , Kiku. Listen, I'm stuck in a sh*tty tree, and I need your help."

" _Nani_? You need my help?"

"Yes! What, do you think I don't need help? That I can deal with Veneziano in a super tall tree?"

"I stand corrected."

"Ugh! Just come over! It's in that huge *ss field near my house."

"Alright. See you soon."

"Later."

Japan sighed once again as Romano hung up. He stood up, stretched out his back, then went to go buy a rope.

* * *

Lithuania cheered as he skipped out of Russia's home. Another day of grueling tasks, like cleaning the toilet, washing the pig's pen, and cleaning Latvia's diapers, he was finally free to relax after a day of work. He was almost home, only five more minutes-

 **Ring.**

Lithuania gave his phone the bird before answering it.

"H-hello?"

"Stuck in a tree with Veneziano. Help me."

"L-lovino? You're s-stuck in a t-tree? How d-did you get u-up there?"

"Long story. Just get your lazy butt off your couch and get over here! I'm in the field near my house!"

"...O-okay..."

" _Ciao_."

Lithuania put his phone back into his pocket, then dragged himself to his personal plane. So much for a peaceful afternoon.

* * *

Ukraine giggled as she hugged Canada very close to herself. ' _You almost got him Ukraine, now just pull him a little bit lower._ '

Canada was being hugged by every single female country. It wasn't every day you decided to help them on their monthly shopping spree. Also, Liechtenstein could only go when Canada or Japan was helping, so he really wanted to help today. Not to mention the fact that his face got stuffed into almost every chest. Except for Liechtenstein and Monaco, to which he simply got a pat on the back or a pair of arms around his waist.

 **YO DUDE, ANSWER YOUR PHONE! AHAHAHA!**

Ukraine sadly let go off the blushing Canadian so he could answer his phone. Canada sent an apologetic smile towards the girls, then pressed the answer button.

"Hello?"

" _Matteo_! Field, tree, Veneziano, help, now."

"What? I..uh, kinda can't help you right now. I'm sorta busy..."

"I don't care if you're surrounded by hot _donna_! Just get over here! It's the field behind my house."

"I'll come. Stay in the tree until I-"

"Wait! Vene, don't touch the f*cking squirrel!"

Canada stared at his beeping phone, then slid it into his pocket. He looked at the girls sadly. "Well, I'm off to Italy. I guess I'll see you all at the next meeting, eh?"

Hungary and Ukraine giggled, while Belgium grinned. "No worries, Mattie! We can carry everything else by ourselves."

As Canada walked away, he began to wonder why he was friends with Romano. The world may never know...literally.

* * *

As the three countries walked down the path, they grumbled quietly.

"I was hoping to rest for a moment, but Lovino-kun called me instead." Japan muttered remorsefully.

"I had just finished washing Latvia's diapers, why did he have to call me?" Lithuania yelled as he waved his gun around.

Canada whispered,"I was with pretty women, I was being hugged by pretty women, why did he..."

When they made it to the field, the first thing they noticed was Italy skipping away from a huge tree. Romano was still in said tree, and was cursing like a sailor. The nations quickly made their way towards the tree, and looked up at their Italian friend.

"Took you all long enough! Now get me down from this tree! My pants are covered in grass stains, and I have to wash them..." Romano called.

Japan threw the rope up and around a nearby branch and began to climb up it. Canada stood there in obvious amusement for a moment, imagining Japan dressed as a cowboy, before following the other two up the rope.

As they all sat on the branch, they all realized something. In unison, the Fourseen glanced at the rope that slowly fell off the branch. For a moment, everything was silent.

"F*ck my life!"

" _Tabarnak_! Maple leaf! _Merde_!"

"This d-day is just getting b-better and better..."

" _Kuso_."

Italy giggled evilly as he held the rope. "Ve~! Have fun up there! I'm going to go help the _bella donnas_ that _Matteo_ was with earlier! _Ciao_!" He skipped away from the raging nations, only to find himself surrounded by squirrels. "V-ve...hello little squirrels..."

Canada smiled happily. "My minions have successfully captured Italy."

Romano shook his head and shifted closer to a shivering Lithuania. "He scares me way too often..." Japan, once again, sighed. With precision and intelligence, he used his katana to cut any leaves and vines off the tree, and braided them to make a new rope.

"Lets go and kill Italy now, _hai_?" There were no arguments from the others as they climbed down the rope, brushed off any bugs or leaves, and went to go find the Italian.

The squirrels had already taken care of him, though.

* * *

 _Another idea someone gave me, complete. Didn't turn exactly as you wanted- is that becoming a trend? Anyway, I have a chapter with translations for the first few chapters coming out soon, along with an angsty chapter after that. Fun, am I right? Credit for this plot goes to a Guest. Hope you enjoyed!_

 _Translations:_

 _Italian:_

 _Ciao:_ Hello

 _Si_ : Yes

 _Bella_ : Beautiful

 _Ragazzas:_ Girls

 _Donna_ : Women

 _French:_

 _Merde_ : Sh*t

 _Japanese:_

 _Moshi moshi:_ A greeting commonly used in phone calls.

 _Nani:_ What

 _Kuso:_ F*ck

 _Hai_ : Yes


	8. Translate Chapter

_After a guest asked me about translations, I smacked my self in the head and screamed. I totally forgot about that, so I am very sorry. I used the different languages so I wouldn't have to bleep out any cuss words. It doesn't look as nice...Here's the translations for the the current chapters, and I'll update it every time there's any words I forget to translate. Also, I lost quite a few of the Japanese translations, so please, if anyone who speaks Japanese can translate, I will be very thankful._

* * *

 _Chapter 1: The Beginning_

Italian _:_

 _Si_ : Yes

 _Grazie_ : Thank you (Or Thanks)

 _Chapter 2: When Life Gives You Tomatoes_

Italian:

 _Fratello_ : Brother

 _Ciao_ : Hello

 _Le mie piante pomodoro! PERECHE'LA MIA VITA CAZZO, SOLO PERCHE'_ : My tomato plants! WHY ME, GOD, F*CK MY LIFE! _(_ _roughly)_

Japanese:

 _I lost translations for a few of them, thanks for my terrible document saving skills, so I will put it up in a rough sort of way. The first Japanese sentence translates into:_ Hello. You took long enough to get here.

 _Hai, shieru wa, aroisu no subarashiku, yoi_ _hirateichi..._ : Yes, Ciel, give Alois a good smack...

 _Chapter 3: Americans, Pancakes, and Pot_

Italian:

 _Matteo_ : Matthew

Lithuanian:

 _Ar tu supranti mane_ : Do you understand me

 _Velnias_ : D*mn it

Japanese:

 _Sadly, I also lost the translations for this chapter. I wonder what Japan is complaining about..._

French:

 _Merde_ : Sh*t

 _Chapter 4: Snowball Fights, Tea Sets, and Russians_

Russian:

 _Da_ : Yes

 _Privet_ : Hello

 _Matvey_ : Matthew

 _Chapter 5: Canadian Winters and Stubborn Italians_

Italian:

 _Cazzo_ : F*ck

 _Accidenti_ : D*mn

 _Non ho un cappotto, cazzo_ : I do not have a coat, d*ck. (Lol)

Japanese:

 _Same as the other chapters. Gosh, I feel really bad. I vaguely remember it being about Tamaki, that's all...ugh! Stupid Google Translate and trying to be unique!_


	9. Reminiscing, Kumajirou, and Texts

_Angst warning, and there will be some joking about it. Nothing too bad, though. If anything related to war makes you feel like barfing, either find a funny joke website or wait ill tomorrow's Independence Day update. But remember, the best way to get past something is to recall the good moments. Also, I can't write angst without some kind of joking in there, it's how I roll. Try to enjoy this._

* * *

"Alright dudes and dudettes! I've called you all here for a very important reason!" America enthusiastically declared as everyone sat in their wooden seats.

England groaned quietly and rubbed his temples in aggravation. "America, this better be important, or I'll have to throttle you."

America winked and chuckled. "I wouldn't mind that, baby."

England sputtered out curses in disbelief, and quickly left the room, trying to hide his blush. America laughed and turned back to the crowd of nations.

"So, you all know about my new presidential race coming up soon, right? Well, it's going to be an awesome race, but I want to ask what you all think of-" America continued to blab about his economy, not noticing the increasing boredom of the others.

Japan slipped his phone out discretely, and glanced around. No one seemed to be watching, so he sent a group text over to his friends.

* * *

JappyKun: _Are you all here?_

JappyKun: _Who changed my chat name? -_-_

TorIsSoFab: _Roma did it._

BuenoTomato: _What the f*ck man? Don't play the blame game!_

KawaiiCanada: _Lol._

KawaiiCanada: _Japan. Did you change my name, too?_

JappyKun: _Maybe. ^_^-¥_

TorIsSoFab: _What does that mean? Zip your hand up?_

BuenoTomato: _Kiku, go home, you're drunk._

KawaiiCanada: _Nice reference. *high five*_

TorIsSoFab: _You forgot the hypen._

BuenoTomato: _Grammar Police!_

KawaiiCanada _: Oh! Can I virtually handcuff him?_

TorIsSoFab _: LOL no. -_-_

JappyKun: _Listen to America, now._

* * *

Almost instantly, the three nations turned off their phones and looked at America. The boisterous man laughed and grinned.

"So I bombed those dudes like there was no tomorrow!"

Lithuania tilted his head. "What are you talking about, Mister America?" He carefully inquired.

The American stated with so much gusto, it made every nation blanch with slight disgust. "Hiroshima and Nagasaki, if course! Ya know, the time I kicked Japan's butt?"

Japan stood up quietly, and without a word, left the room. China was about to get up and follow his younger brother, rivalry or not, but Russia held him back.

America rolled his eyes. "Woah, dude can't handle a history lesson, am I right?" He looked at the nations for confirmation.

With a power usually hidden, Canada stood up and out of his seat, making his chair fly back to the floor. "W-why would you say something like that?! How could you so...so...insensitive?" He growled out. France, who had been watching the large nation begin to blow up like a ticking time bomb, laid his hand on his former colony's arm.

"Calm down, Mathieu. It was unkind, yes, but it's not something to yell over." And for once in his long and ancient life, France saw how worried and sad Canada looked. With that one look, he simply let go of the Canadian's arm.

Canada heaved out a sigh. He straightened his back, picked up Kuma, and strode out the door.

Romano was the next one to get angry.

"Smooth move, now he's going to be mad at you for the rest of your sh*tty life. How exciting!" Romano sarcastically cheered. He stood up out of his seat and took a step closer to America. "You are a f*cking dumb*ass! Japan is extremely sensitive about that stuff, and you know it! I'm sick and tired of your lame-!" The spiteful Italian was cut off by Lithuania standing up and patting him on the back.

Lithuania looked so torn. Torn between his closest friends and important allies. But once he saw how mad his friends were, he made his decision.

"W-why would y-you say that..." He choked out any and all courage he had. Lithuania glared at America and any of the other nations that laughed, then pulled Romano out the door and down the hall.

Austria had seen the four nation's faces, and it had been quite some time he had seen that pain. Being reminded of a friend's pain, past or present, brings much anger that would usually be suppressed.

So Austria stood up and left the room, leaving behind an ashamed America and worried nations.

* * *

"I can't believe that motherf*cker!" Romano growled as he sat down in a chair. Lithuania timidly sat next to him, before breaking down into tears. Begrudgingly, yet sincerely, Romano put an arm around Lithuania, trying to console him.

Canada and Japan were already sitting down. Japan was being uncharacteristically close. He had his arms wrapped around Canada's torso, and was heavily crying onto his shirt. "H-how could America-san be s-so insensitive? I did n-nothing to h-him!" Japan wailed, before being passed a handkerchief.

England, who had seen the solemn nations and invited them into his hidden room, was trying his best to console the four, but it was hard to control his tears as well. The Black Death, the Burning of London...World War I...the Siege of-

"Looks like you all need a story." A nasal voice called out. The nations looked up at the Austrian, who sat down on an extra seat that he had dragged over. "I suppose that most of you have had bad experiences in his history?" He questioned.

Instantly, Japan raised his hand, then went back to crying softly. Romano grunted, Lithuania nodded, and Canada sighed. England rolled his eyes. "Of course they have, ya g*t. Every one of us have!"

Austria shifted in his seat, then muttered, "I was placed in a concentration camp."

Everyone looked at Austria, surprised.

"My human name...Roderich, is Jewish. Hebrew, whatever you want to call it. The Nazis just threw me in there with the rest, whether I'm important to the government or not." Austria glanced up at England, sending a mental message.

England grumbled under his breath, then sat straight up in his seat. "Black Death. I died over ten times. Nine of them was from the illness, the last one...I was eaten by rats."

Romano turned a bit green and faced a nearby garbage bin. "Why are you bringing this stuff up? We're supposed to forget it!" He coughed out, trying to hold his breakfast in.

"Well," Austria began, "England and I are very old, and have gone through a lot, just like you four. Japan, have you calmed down?"

Japan nodded silently. Then with sadness, he muttered, "I have two burns on my shoulders. Nagasaki and Hiroshima...both were destroyed. Obliterated. Gone." He held his face between his hands, trying to not cry again. Canada rubbed his back reassuringly.

Lithuania gingerly touched his back. "During the Soviet Era...there was a lot of pain in my country. Actually, there still is. The people in my country are almost..tired, of living. Almost five suicides every month, it hurts."

Austria nodded. He remembered how close he was to being taken over by a crazed Russia, so many years ago. It was scary, and many of his people tried to flee.

Romano huffed, "Well, since we're telling each other our sob stores, I'll tell you mine." Lithuania chuckled quietly and pat Romano's back in return.

"You don't have to, you know." Lithuania protested.

Romano smirked. "Don't wanna be the odd one out. Hm, well, there was the riots and protests after both World Wars, the earthquake, the assassination of our king. Not much has happened that's extremely bad. Veneziano went through most of the sh*tty stuff, anyway." He finished.

England wrung out his handkerchief. "Ah, yes. That was a terrible earthquake. I could feel it from my home."

Kumajirou, who had stayed silent the whole time, spoke up. "Halifax. Quebec hurt too. York." Canada hastily picked up the polar bear, and scolded him in a hushed tone.

"Kuma, what did I say about saying things like that..."

"Now now, Matthew. Tell us what that's all about." England chided. Japan and Lithuania nodded,

Canada looked at his friend's faces, then sighed.

"The Halifax explosion. Quebec almost leaving, and the burning of York. But it wasn't too bad...I got him back..." Canada had this far-off expression that scared the others half to death.

England and Austria stood up simultaneously, and looked at their watches. "Would you look at the time, see you boys later." They spoke in unison as they waved and left the room.

Japan smiled. "Good job, KawaiiCanadian."

"No problem, JappyKun."

"W-were you trying t-to get t-them to l-leave?"

"It sure is, TorIsSoFab!" Canada grinned.

"Haha...yeah."

"Now what?"

"Hey, what's today's date?" Romano pulled his phone out and checked the date. His eyes widened dramatically. "F*ck, sh*t, b*tch! It's July third!" He screamed.

Instantly, Canada stood up and walked out of the room.

"Crap." Romano swore as he watched Japan order some rope. Lithuania pulled out a black bandanna and wrapped it around his own forehead.

Hey, their history may have some rough moments, but there's always those smooth moments.

None of them were what kind of moment this was, though.

* * *

 _Told ya, can't write angst._

 _BTW, if you think anything is wrong with characterization, spelling, grammar, let me know please. I want to improve my writing, and the only way to do that is only if I get some constructive criticism._


	10. Birthdays, Animals, and the Japanese

_Crack. And very, very late Independence Day update. Sorry! And a shout out to AphHetaliaLover and his/her story, 'An Odd Group of Friends'. Thanks for the shout out in your story for me, and for being a great interweb buddy._

* * *

America laughed happily. He felt so powerful today, it being the fourth of July and all.

And, well, it also being the day of his birthday. That might contribute…

His parties were always the best event. Every nation attended- except for Russia and his creepy sisters -and brought him a ton of gifts. America remembered getting a planner from England; he gave it to Canada for a late birthday gift.

There was going to be fireworks, cake, more fireworks, popsicles, even more fireworks, and pop! But what's even better than that? A petting zoo! America had been trying to rent lions, tigers, and bears for his party, but no one would let him.

Oh well… Wait.

America smirked. He'll have a petting zoo by this evening, whether the President likes it or not.

* * *

Canada sat on his roof with a telescope, watching the beginning of America's epic party.

"Eh, that mentor-stealer is going down like a maple tree next to a lumberjack, eh." He chuckled evilly.

Next to him, Romano and Lithuania were shuddering. Canada was so close to going full-on Canadian, and they certainly did not want to deal with that. Japan was still at the the store, so they had to be careful. A tomato throwing Italian and a kick-butt Lithuanian couldn't do much on their own. The duo nearly screamed when Canada looked at them with his icy violet eyes.

"Will you help me? I planning to bring Moose A. Moose and Smokey to the party, and I need help catching them." Canada innocently smiled, before hopping off the roof. He looked up at the other nations and held his arms up.

Smiling brightly, Canada laughed. "Come on down, I'll catch you!"

The only thing going through Romano's mind was: _'F*ck this! I'm going to jump and land on his crazed face!'_

Lithuania was doing the exact opposite, and that was clinging onto Romano for dear life.

* * *

"WOOHOO! Come on guys! Let's go get 'em, eh!" Canada whooped and hollered as he ran into the forest. Romano and Lithuania trudged behind him, letting out tired (and sarcastic) cheers.

When the two sore nations caught up to Canada, they realized what a terrible mistake they had just made. Multiple animals were surrounding Canada. All the way from bears to geese, the nation had called them all over.

"Listen closely! We're going to go to the loud man's yard, okay? Then we will attack him...and kill him once and for all!" Romano and Lithuania sweatdropped at the scene, terrified and annoyed at the animals cheering.

A certain rabbit flicked its long ears around before jumping onto Canada's head. It squeaked (which totally didn't make the other two squeal from the adorableness), then waved its short arms everywhere.

Suddenly, all of the bears, geese, wolves, rabbits, owls, you name it- they were all running towards America's home. Somehow, Lithuania was sitting on a black bear (Smokey?), and Romano was chilling on a moose (Moose A. Moose?).

By the time they arrived at America's home, the party was already in full-swing. And by full-swing, we meant that everyone is drunk.

Japan was waiting by the fence, carefully holding a rope and a remote. When Canada was getting ready to lead the charge, he noticed the oriental nation. Canada walked over to Japan and grinned brightly.

"Kiku! What's up, eh?" The northern nation smirked, then glanced at the suspicious rope.

Japan's walnut eyes widened in surprise, "Matthew-kun? Erm, nothing has happened so far. Except for Prussia-sama molesting Austria-san. It was very entertaining." He stated quietly.

"Of course you would enjoy that!" Canada shook his head. "Well, time for to destroy Al. Later!" He happily chirped. Canada skipped away, straight towards the huge polar bear chilling by the gate.

" _Matteo_! What in the h*ll are you doing?!" Romano screamed as Canada motioned for the animals to run into the backyard. He watched in slight suspense as Japan expertly flipped onto a turtle.

Lithuania shakily pointed at the group of people heading towards them. Most of the men were holding guns. "W-who's that!?" Lithuania stuttered.

Japan, who was calmly standing on the turtle, proudly gestured to the group. "This is my mafia, or the Yakuza. They are here to stop Matthew-kun." He introduced his men to the duo, then they charged through the fence.

But when they got in…

Most of the nations were petting an animal, dangerous or not. Even the Nordics were petting an animal! Well, except for Iceland, who was holding Mr. Puffin very close to himself. But when Norway walked up to Iceland to ask an important question, Iceland began to cry and ran away from his older brother.

Only Canada and Romano knew what was going on, and they chuckled. Romano smirked at Iceland, who winked back, then turned back to the unfolding chaos.

* * *

Canada laughed and gave America a bird.

America looked at the bird in confusion. "Bro, what is this-"

"Ha! I gave you the bird!" Canada snickered. America pouted and walked away, still clutching the bird close to himself.

Japan's people ran into the yard and started to shoot every animal in sight. One by one, each of the animals fell into a deep sleep. Lithuania cried at the loss of Smokey, but Japan assured him that they were just sleeping darts.

By the time every animal was released into the wild, all of the drunk nations were sleeping. Italy, however, was hanging from a tree branch.

"Ve, what did I do to you to deserve this?!" Italy yelled.

Canada laughed evilly, before turning to his comrades. They nodded, then gave America a blindfold and spun him around three times. Italy's amber eyes widened when they passed America the bat.

"DOITSU! VE! HELP ME- NO, AMERICA, I DON'T HAVE CANDY IN ME- VE! That tickles- AH, THE TOWER OF PISA!"

Germany grumbled quietly as he pushed into a car with the rest of the slightly sober nations. "Italy… needs some… help…" Japan shushed him, before pushing Taiwan to the car.

"Drive them home, please. I'll pay for any expenses-"

Taiwan grinned and stole Japan's wallet. "Time to go to Dave & Busters!" Everyone cheered as she took the wheel and drove away, leaving behind a stricken Japan.

Japan strode back into the backyard, but instantly wished that he hadn't. Italy was on the grass clutching onto his crotch, while America was searching through the Italian's pockets.

"Where's the f*cking candy?!"

Japan clicked the button on his remote, sending multiple piles of candy tumbling through the air and onto the estatic American. The Fourseen high-fived, then walked off into the sunset.

And they all were glad that everyone survived this time.

* * *

 _F my attempts at updating. Next chapter: Women! And quartet showing off!_


	11. Banquets, Romance, and Ideas (Part One)

_How long has it been? Almost two years?_

 _Well, I'm back! Older, a slightly better writer, yet... I am sorta out of the Hetalia fandom? Don't get me wrong, I will always love Hetalia, but the fandom has gotten a little obnoxious. But hey! I'm here to give you all a couple of chapters... just to wrap things up (there never was a plot tho?) and give myself some closure. All of my one-shot stories will get a few endings chapters._

 _For the people that still follow this story... thank you. You don't know how much that means to me._

 _Now, about this chapter! I hope you all don't mind soft shonen-ai...? It's just some flirting between my OTP, but I'll keep it low-key for you guys. This chapter is going to be a little less funny, too, but it will still have a light-hearted theme around it? There will be an intense scene tho, just warning you all. 3_

* * *

Romano was a wise man. He understood the differences between right and wrong, he knew most basic knowledge, and was an athletic soul. (Not really, but his calves were ripped?) Since he was such a well-rounded nation, what kind of man would he be if he were to deny a woman asking for some advice? No, no, he would never do that. Of course he would help a lovely lady! It was his duty as gentleman.

So. Why the ever-living fuck was he in a tuxedo, escorting Seychelles into a really fancy ballroom and was that Japan and Taiwan quietly chatting near the punch, Lithuania dodging a flute being thrown at him by Belarus, and Canada dancing with Ukraine in the corner?

No way. They were breaking the bro code by doing this. All of them. They fell for the disgustingly gorgeous women and their fluttery eyelashes and their cute smiles, and wait, wasn't Romano bi? Fuck it. The girls were hot. No disrespect to them, he knew that they could (and would) kick his ass in a heartbeat, but he could appreciate their audacity to actually ask out the weirdest guys in the world. Literally.

Seychelles smiled at softly, before letting his arm go. "I'll go round up the girls, and then we're going to get a table. You go hang out with your friends~ But, always be ready to dance~!" she sang with a little swing of her hips, her deep red dress billowing around her as she floated away.

Romano shook his head, trying to clear his mind, then walked over to Japan.

"Oi, Kiku, how did she convince you to come?" He muttered, leaning over his friend's shoulder.

He watched Japan's entire body shudder in surprise, before he turned around and addressed Romano formally. "Good evening, Lovino-kun. I hope you are well. And, to answer your question, I was forced to come. I was told that if I was to not come, I would never see my most prized possession again."

Romano snorted, "Ha, what's that? A naked man statue?"

"More or less. A body pillow of Makoto Tachibana." Japan shrugged.

"Oh."

Silence filled the air between the two.

"You know, I hope and pray that you don't do any freaky shit with that pillow Kiku-"

Suddenly, quick footsteps came up to them. It was Lithuania, who was flushed red and panting. He looked up at them from his crouched position, before he stood up straight and smiled weakly. "I... Hello. I can explain."

Japan nodded and reached over, brushing some platinum hair off of Lithuania's padded shoulder. "Please do." He stated simply.

Lithuania opened his mouth to speak, but then shut it. He was looking behind the other two men, so they glanced back, only to see Belarus glaring at them from their little girl group. She made a slow movement- her pointer finger slowly going across her neck- then harshly pointed at Lithuania. The poor man squeaked and sighed.

Romano and Japan were already disturbed enough, but that just made things ten times worse. Japan set down his champagne flute, then gestured for the other two to follow him to a table. The table was at a distance from everything else that was going on, and they were all surprised that no one else had taken it... until they saw Kumajiro underneath it.

"Kuma-sama, please get out from under the table. There is food by the doorway." Japan commanded quietly. The trio watched the polar bear slink out from the table and waddle over to the food table, only to see Germany smile and pet the bear happily. Italy looked absolutely terrified- Germany was smiling? There was a bear in the building? A deadly bear? And Germany was petting it? What?

Anyway, back to three-quarters of the Fourseen. They sat at the table, silence filling the space around them. Lithuania coughed awkwardly, before smiling.

"So, uh... what a night, huh?" He asked, nodding to himself. Yes, that was a great question.

"Great question, Toris. Even though I JUST FUCKING GOT HERE." Romano looked at him pointedly, tilting his head towards Seychelles and her little group. "I can't stand it. I can't tell if she's flirting with me or just trying to show me off to her gal pals. I don't want to be a toy or arm candy, damn it."

Japan sighed, "I guess that is how many women feel. We need to treat them fairly, Lovino-kun. Women are not evil or manipulative. Most of them, anyway." he chuckled under his breath, "It never hurts to ask her what her intentions are."

"That's the thing, though!" Romano hit the table with his hand, startling Lithuania from his dreamworld. He blinked and looked at the confused and irritated Italian. "I don't want to know her "intentions"! I didn't even want to come to this idiotic banquet with her." Romano grumbled.

Lithuania tilted his head. "Who did you want to come with, then? Belgium?"

Romano shook his head and pointed to the corner, where Ukraine and Canada were just chatting. Canada smiled and laughed, before noticing that his friends were looking at him. The cheerful and timid nation waved, before being pulled back into an interesting conversation by Ukraine. Romano watched them quietly, a solemn expression on his face.

"Oh..." Lithuania nodded, "Ukraine. She is very pretty and sweet. I-I'm sure that Matthew won't mind if you ask her for a dance or something? And, he might wanna dance with Seychelles-"

"No, not Ukraine." Japan muttered, continuing to watch Romano, "Matthew-kun. You like him."

Romano rolled his hazel eyes and puffed, "Stupid, right? He'd never like a guy like me. I'm rough, I don't like all that warm fuzzy stuff, I like passion and excitement. That guy," He pointed his thumb at the man in question, "is a total hunk, but a softie. Matthew has qualities that make him seem weak, sometimes girly, but fuck, he can benchpress a bear and throwback an entire glass of whiskey in ten seconds."

Romano hid his face in his hands. "Oh my god, this is embarrassing. Why am I talking to you both about this? You're just gonna tell him."

Lithuania and Japan nodded in confirmation.

"As soon as Matthew comes over, we can leave you two alone so that you ca-"

Before Lithuania could finish sharing his idea, a loud boom echoed throughout the room. The floor shook, glasses and trays fell to the ground, and yells filled the air. All of the countries in the room immediately calmed themselves. Germany, who had already gotten up to the microphone in the front of them room, quickly turned it on and began to speak:

"Everyone, I do believe that this is a code red. I repeat, a code red. Please gather in groups of five and prepare to do the worst. Please make sure there is at least three nations from different continents in your group. Go downstairs, and get into a vehicle. Thank you, and stay safe. May God be with you." Germany finished his orders, befofe swiftly turning around and grabbing Veneziano's hand.

Suddenly, it was like all hell broke loose. Countries that were best friends, close friends, or family stayed together, forcing Germany and other law-abiding countries to break them apart. Finland was handing a tearful Sealand to Sweden, before walking over to Cameroon and his group. America had been a part of France's group, before being shoved over to Russia's. Enemy against enemy, it felt like.

Thankfully, Japan, Lithuania, and Romano would be okay as a group. The problem was... they needed two more people. Japan quickly stood up and walked over to Canada and Ukraine. Ukraine was crying, a steady stream of tears flowing down her face.

"I was hoping that I could just enjoy this one evening, Matvey! I wanted to dance and drink, talk with old friends, just like the old times!" She wailed.

Canada frowned and rubbed her back. "I'm so sorry..." he whispered, then turned to see Japan and the others.

Romano smirked, hiding his pain at seeing Canada's hand on Ukraine's back, and held out his hand.

"We should be a group, the five of us, _si_?" He said smartly.

Japan rolled his eyes, then nodded. "Yes, that was what I was thinking."

* * *

 _Part two coming next week, friends! Thank you for reading. I hope that you like the Canmano I slipped in... If enough of you all don't like it, I'll leave it open-ended. :)_


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